Last Words: Jeff House

  • Jeff House Last Words March 2012 | Photo: Jason Lee
  • Last movie you watched: Single White Female. Crazy.

  • Last show you're embarrassed to say you watched: Sex and the City. My girlfriend makes me.

  • Last thing you found to occupy your time: Sudoku.

  • Last boat you rode behind: A 44-foot Sea Ray Express Bridge.

  • Last regret: Charging to the flats behind a yacht.

  • Last person's mother you saw chug a beer through a paint stick: The only mother I know who has done it is Mrs. Schwenk. My dad did one, though. It's a family affair!

  • Last new trick you learned: Switch indy roll to blind.

  • Last iPhone app purchased: Wake Journal.

  • Last website visited: HGTV's Urban Oasis. Trump Tower, baby, here I come!

  • Last major purchase: A townhouse in Winter Haven, Florida.

  • Last minor purchase: Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11.

  • Last lesson you learned: Don't charge chest-high wakes.

  • Last time you danced: At my friend's wedding in Michigan last summer. I'm such a horrible dancer. I'm no Shawn Perry, I'll tell you that much.

  • Last stupid thing Derek Grasman showed you on the Internet: Skate Case.

  • Last awesome thing Derek Grasman showed you on the Internet: Scarlett Johansson's boobies.

  • Last person you texted: Nick Jones. He had surgery a week after me, so we've been bitching back and forth a lot.

  • Last thing you cooked: Meth. I ran out of pain pills.

  • Last rail you hit: Wake Nation's setup.

  • Last dream date you took your chick on: The Lost Sea, baby! I got to first base.

  • Last million-dollar idea you had: A brush that attaches to your vacuum cleaner so you can brush your dog and it sucks up the hair. Kind of like a Flowbee, except it wouldn't cut the hair. "Eliminates shedding and your pet will love it!"

  • Last trick you'll be caught dead doing: Big worm.

  • Last dude who came over to visit while you're down and out: Zane Schwenk, the true bro.