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Last Words: Jeff House

September 25, 2012
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Jeff House Last Words March 2012 | Photo: Jason Lee

Last movie you watched: Single White Female. Crazy.

Last show you’re embarrassed to say you watched: Sex and the City. My girlfriend makes me.

Last thing you found to occupy your time: Sudoku.

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Last boat you rode behind: A 44-foot Sea Ray Express Bridge.

Last regret: Charging to the flats behind a yacht.

Last person’s mother you saw chug a beer through a paint stick: The only mother I know who has done it is Mrs. Schwenk. My dad did one, though. It’s a family affair!

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Last new trick you learned: Switch indy roll to blind.

Last iPhone app purchased: Wake Journal.

Last website visited: HGTV’s Urban Oasis. Trump Tower, baby, here I come!

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Last major purchase: A townhouse in Winter Haven, Florida.

Last minor purchase: Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11.

Last lesson you learned: Don’t charge chest-high wakes.

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Last time you danced: At my friend’s wedding in Michigan last summer. I’m such a horrible dancer. I’m no Shawn Perry, I’ll tell you that much.

Last stupid thing Derek Grasman showed you on the Internet: Skate Case.

Last awesome thing Derek Grasman showed you on the Internet: Scarlett Johansson’s boobies.

Last person you texted: Nick Jones. He had surgery a week after me, so we’ve been bitching back and forth a lot.

Last thing you cooked: Meth. I ran out of pain pills.

Last rail you hit: Wake Nation’s setup.

Last dream date you took your chick on: The Lost Sea, baby! I got to first base.

Last million-dollar idea you had: A brush that attaches to your vacuum cleaner so you can brush your dog and it sucks up the hair. Kind of like a Flowbee, except it wouldn’t cut the hair. “Eliminates shedding and your pet will love it!”

Last trick you’ll be caught dead doing: Big worm.

Last dude who came over to visit while you’re down and out: Zane Schwenk, the true bro.

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