The wedding was beautiful, and even the cutting of the cake only ended with cute smudges of frosting on the bride and groom’s noses. But you don’t really think Mike’s friends and fellow wakeboarders would let him get away with such a fairytale wedding, do you? As Mike and his bride, Lou, made their way through the shower of candy hearts to the limo,
the guys surrounded and held the clueless groom and doused him in Vaseline and flour.
Following the perfect wedding ceremony, everyone headed to the Chockoyotte Country Club. Great Southern hospitality was everywhere as guests stuffed their faces and drank and danced. When the cha cha came on, Mike displayed a hidden talent not unlike pulling a fruit loop as he cut a rug like a pro. The guys often disappeared to the men’s lounge, where they could be found smoking one of Charley Gonzalez’ Cuban cigars in front of the TV, which was actually tucked between several rows of liquor lockers.
When the reception was over it was still early, and a bunch of us decided to go out. (Note: “Going out” takes on a different meaning when you’re in the middle of nowhere.) This is where the real “country” excitement began. After stopping by Word’s singlewide, we dodged deer as we drove for miles through nothing but darkness and more road until we got to Virginia, where suddenly a bar/club called The Raven appeared. Inside The Raven, big belt buckles shone in the disco lights and the girls, despite the 30-degree weather, wore tank tops of various neon colors and way-too-tight jeans tucked neatly in their velvet cowboy boots. Their teased ’80s hair topped off the whole image in A Redneck Wedding Singer kind of way. Mikker was second to Mac as the Casanova of the night, but Thomas Horrell was the one who really fit in. Thomas was still looking sharp in his suit, and when he smiled the locals assumed he was part of a redneck wedding that actually took place at The Raven while we were there. The band, Switch, was advertised as “the best live music within 50 miles.” Try the only live music within 50 miles. Nevertheless, they rocked the house.
We wish the bride and groom the very best. Congratulations, Mike and Lou!